Etiquette for commenting after a BFP

After reading posts about those who choose to stop following blogs once a BFP is announced, it’s made me wonder what those still in the trenches feel about pregnant women commenting on their blogs.  I assume there is a range of feelings different people may have, but is there a general etiquette to be followed?  I know that I’ve enjoyed receiving support from women in all different circumstances, but I’m thinking I might be in the minority.  Is a comment from a woman with a recent BFP too hurtful?  If the blogger is having an especially difficult time (for example, just had a miscarriage, failed cycle, ectopic) should someone who just had a BFP refrain from commenting?  I would like to comment as I always have, but I thought I should check-in before I hurt someone unintentionally.

In other news, I am extremely exhausted.  I sleep from 8/8:30pm to 5:30/6:00am and yet I still feel tired all day long.  Work has been extremely stressful and mentally draining.  Thinking about our ultrasound on Friday has been emotionally draining.  I’m completely taxed on all fronts.  I’ve had some mild cramping, but it doesn’t last long and it’s not too painful (maybe a 3 on the 1-10 scale).  It may have to do with the mild constipation…I’m not really sure the cause.  I haven’t had any bleeding or spotting.  Most of the day yesterday I experienced mild nausea.  I was able to eat, but it was easier to snack every couple hours instead of eating several meals.  This morning I also felt a tinge and needed to have some saltines and small can of Ginger Ale.  I was feeling slightly off on my drive into work, but otherwise was okay.  I am sick of the prometrium tablets…the amount of goop coming out of me is disgusting!!!  I hope everything goes well on Friday.


8 thoughts on “Etiquette for commenting after a BFP

  1. I think any support is appreciated, especially if you’re bloggy friends. I know I would appreciate a comment of support during a difficult time no matter who it came from!

  2. My guess is these women like the comments for support. I have a kid and people still allow my comments. They don’t delete me or block me or whatever, so I’m guessing support is support. And we’ll take it from where ever we can get it. They don’t have to follow you, but I’m sure they appreciate you following them…and who knows if they get lucky and get knocked up they might start following you again….

    Sorry you’re exhausted…I really didn’t ever have that. Kinda feel bad for all ya’ll who have it! Take care!

    • I didn’t think about it that way. I guess if they are truly offended by my commenting, they can always delete my post or not allow it to post. They still have control and I wouldn’t be taking that away from them. I appreciate the new perspective!

  3. I think I fall into the minority as well. I appreciate comments from preggies and non-preggies. I do however feel at times that the support can be a bit one-sided. Hence the un-following from those who are still in the trenches. But what I guess I don’t get is how your infertility has gone out the window once you get that positive. Maybe it’s not meant to be understood. Oh well. I’ll follow you & support you whether you’re pregnant or not, or have kids for that matter. :) Especially, if you have substance! ;)

    Hope you start to feeling better and get some energy…. :)

    • I don’t know if you meant me specifically or the general “you” when you said…”But what I guess I don’t get it how your infertility has gone out the window once you get that positive”. And it’s also a bit hard to interpret exactly what you mean here, but I did want to respond either way. No one’s infertility goes out the window with a positive. B and I are still infertile. We still can’t get pregnant without the most extreme form of medical intervention. All we have now that we didn’t before is some confirmation of the hope we’ve been holding onto for the past 2 years that medical intervention would be beneficial for us. As we all know, it is not beneficial for all. If you did me just me with that statement, I can assure you that I do not believe in this statement. We are still infertile and it still affects us as would any other medical condition that is lifelong. Thanks for commenting and allowing me to be clear to my followers if it wasn’t already clear. And thanks for the well wishes!

      • Okay, so I guess I need to be more clear… My statement was in a general sense. Not directed at you personally. If you mean by my statement, that it’s hard to interpret, then let me clarify. Most of those that I’ve found to “un-follow” once I became pregnant were in the bitter stages because of their own struggles. I understand that it can be hard and don’t expect everyone to jump for joy. But I was saying that I think people tend to forget or even dismiss that infertility isn’t just a one-time deal. It’s life-long and doesn’t go away. They see someone who’s been successful with treatments & remove themselves without even thinking of how long they’ve been struggling. I don’t think for one second that support (in any form) should be conditional. That’s my point. :)

      • Thank you for clarifying. That is not what my initial interpretation was. You make a really good point and I’m glad you took the time to explain. I think it is really important for all of us to think about and reflect on! :)

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