I know. I can’t believe it myself. I’m actually still a bit in shock…although every time B looks at me he says, “you’re so happy!”. So it must be sinking in subconsciously. I have had a bad feeling all day. I went to the blood test today and wrote a note for the nurses to call B with the results. I just could not bear to hear another negative. I went into work, but ended up leaving just before lunch time. I couldn’t focus and I was having “cramp-ish like pains” in my abdomen. I wasn’t sure if it was real or just me feeling yucky in general. Either way, I just wanted to be home and in comfy clothes. (I couldn’t button my work pants today.)
I went home and cried in B’s arms. I was terrified of more bad news. What would we do if it was negative? How would we deal? Would I have a complete breakdown and fall apart? How would we survive another negative. So I got it together and B and I watched last night’s episodes of Dexter and Homeland to distract ourselves. With about 10 minutes left in the 2nd show, B got the call and the nurse said, “Congratulations! You are pregnant!”. He had a big smile on his face, we hugged, and I started crying into his chest. I wrote down 2 questions for him to ask if it was yes: 1) What was the beta level?; and 2) When do I go in for the next blood test. The answers were 245 and Wednesday.
I know we are not out of the woods by any means, but I am super grateful that after 1 year and 11 months of trying, WE ARE PREGNANT. And I am going to allow myself to feel good about it :)