Beta = 245

I know.  I can’t believe it myself.  I’m actually still a bit in shock…although every time B looks at me he says, “you’re so happy!”.  So it must be sinking in subconsciously.  I have had a bad feeling all day.  I went to the blood test today and wrote a note for the nurses to call B with the results.  I just could not bear to hear another negative.  I went into work, but ended up leaving just before lunch time.  I couldn’t focus and I was having “cramp-ish like pains” in my abdomen.  I wasn’t sure if it was real or just me feeling yucky in general.  Either way, I just wanted to be home and in comfy clothes.  (I couldn’t button my work pants today.)

I went home and cried in B’s arms.  I was terrified of more bad news.  What would we do if it was negative?  How would we deal?  Would I have a complete breakdown and fall apart?  How would we survive another negative.  So I got it together and B and I watched last night’s episodes of Dexter and Homeland to distract ourselves.  With about 10 minutes left in the 2nd show, B got the call and the nurse said, “Congratulations!  You are pregnant!”.  He had a big smile on his face, we hugged, and I started crying into his chest. I wrote down 2 questions for him to ask if it was yes: 1) What was the beta level?; and 2) When do I go in for the next blood test.  The answers were 245 and Wednesday.

I know we are not out of the woods by any means, but I am super grateful that after 1 year and 11 months of trying, WE ARE PREGNANT.  And I am going to allow myself to feel good about it :)

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7 thoughts on “Beta = 245

  1. congrats, congrats a million congrats!!!!

    i got super stressed out on my beta days, too. it’s too much!!! you just need to be at home when you’re that raw.

    after this long you deserve to feel very, very good. enjoy this time. you deserve it.

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