Hard Day

Today feels like it’s going to be a hard day already.  I did not sleep well at all last night thanks to my dog C barking his head off 3 separate times though out the night.  I also had a ton of bad dreams about my upcoming birthday celebration.  I guess I am not feeling completely ready for it.  I need to get an outfit to wear this weekend (80’s themed party) and get prizes for my guests that are best dressed.  B also needs an outfit.  I’m still waiting for MANY people to RSVP (they have until Saturday, but I am early on everything) and I guess it’s just making me anxious.  Did I mention I was turning 30?  Some of the anxiety I have been feeling may be more related to that than the actual party itself.

Work has also been EXTREMELY stressful and I have had SO many meetings this week that I haven’t started either of the 2 reports I need to get done by today.  I’m in meetings ALL day today too, so it looks like they may not get done until Friday.  Oh well :(

BCP’s are going fine.  I’ve actually been feeling some twinges on my ovaries the past few days…I wonder if I am feeling the follicles getting smaller?

Well I am just tired today…and when I am tired I have a shorter fuse for things and lately people at work have been showing an extremely frustrating level of incompetence, which requires me to work more and harder.  I’m also feeling pretty emotional today…again probably b/c I am so tired.  I feel like I could cry at any moment.  I just want to crawl back under the covers and sleep through this entire day.  Can you just feel the negativity?

Hoping some positivity finds its way into my day!

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16 thoughts on “Hard Day

    • Thanks so much! We went to the goodwill store tonight and I was able to pretty much get the whole outfit. I’m gonna wear a charcoal mini-skirt with a zipper down the front and a pleather jacket with leopard fur on the collar…it’s a bit small, but actually looks good that way. The shirt is black and white zebra print with a bluish-teal necklace as the halter. I have short black boots and I’m going to get fishnet style stockings. I can’t decide if I’m gonna rock the side ponytail with a big scrunchie or borrow my friends crimper (yes she still owns a crimper!)

  1. Hello from ICLW and happy birthday! I feel like your post could be about me (except that my birthday is in August). I had a crappy week last week where I let all the negativity fester and get to me. I left my acupuncture appointment on Sunday feeling better, but then realized that my husband just doesn’t really get what I’m going through even though he wants a child badly too. So I am kinda feeling crappy again. The fact that I turn 30 in August has me a bit freaked out too because I always expected to be a mom before I turned 30. I hope that you’re able to enjoy your party!

    • Thanks for the bday wishes! Congrats on your 30th as well! :) I’m sorry you feel like your husband doesn’t get what you are going through. I would have to say that my husband doesn’t truly get it either, but at the same time how could anyone not going through what we go through. I see him feel pain and disappointment in his own way. I have no idea what your situation is, but keep in mind we all deal with things in our own way and it’s hard to know what something feels like unless we truly feel it for ourselves. Yes, he is obviously in it with you, but we are the ones on the front lines of it. I hope you have a better week and I hope we both become mothers before 31 :)

    • And I also just want to say that I completely understand your feelings and have felt the same way and continue to feel the same way when I’m having a particularly hard time and my husband just doesn’t seem to get it. I didn’t mean to dismiss your feelings…just looking at it from a different angle.

      • Thanks and I understand objectively, but it’s hard when you’re in the throes of despair. The situation that led to my current feelings is explained in my last blog post (if you’re interested).

  2. Happy early Birthday! it sounds you have a fun party in the making.
    Honestly, the bcp’s were one of my least fave part of the IVF protocols. I am sorry you need to get to it again, but I will keep my fingers crossed for IVF#2 to be the charm. That was for us.
    Happy ICLW! #51

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