I am a Saint!

Exactly 27 1/2 hours after I found out our first IVF cycle had failed, I see a sea of pregnant bellies walk into the wedding.  It turns out that 6 wives of my husbands co-workers are pregnant (most of them sporting a VERY big baby belly) and they all walk into the wedding one right after the other.  I had NO IDEA any of them were pregnant.  I turn to B and ask him about it and he says he didn’t know either.  The sight of them literally takes my breath away.  I was very close to panic mode, but somehow made it through the moment.  Later in the night I find out there are actually 9 wives  (OMFG!!!!) of my husbands co-workers that are pregnant, but apparently only 6 of them were invited to this wedding.  Our table consisted of 3 pregnant women and their husbands and another couple that has 2 toddlers at home.  So yeah, the entire night revolved around talk of babies and comments about how we need to start having kids (jerks).  And you know what…I not only survived this, but I actually acted like I cared about their due dates and how their baby at home kisses their belly, etc.  I feel like a champ!

And now onto the inner, very bitter list I created in my head while listening to all of these preggers who all get pregnant apparently from the kool-aid their husbands drink at work.

Wife #1 – Her husband is a raging alcoholic and was actually forced into rehab by work.  This is their first child.  She kept saying all night how she feels amazing, but is terrified of giving birth.

Wife # 2 &3 – They are complete jerks…they act all nice to your face, but I can see right through the fakeness and know they have nothing nice to say about anyone behind their backs.  They act like their better than everyone.  They each have a 1 year old as well.

Wife #4 – Her husband is a complete arrogant ass with anger problems. And I think something must be wrong with her that she would choose to marry this prick.  She’s 5 months pregnant and has an 8 month old baby as well (yup, they didn’t waste any time).

Wife #5 – This is her 3rd child and recently I found out she cheated on her husband with one of his co-workers (I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know about it).

Wife #6 – I actually do not have one bad thing to say about her.  I think she and her husband are really nice people so I am happy for them.

Why the hell is it so easy for them to get pregnant when they are bringing children into such dysfunctional situations?  Things are just not fair in life.  It makes me so angry to think about these assholes getting the one thing B and I have been trying for 2 years to have and they don’t even deserve it!  So you see, I am a saint because even though I was thinking all of these things, I did not make one evil statement to any of them.  And I magically was able to still enjoy the wedding instead of having a breakdown and spending the night in our hotel room (which I easily could have done).

Still waiting for AF.  Once she arrives I will call the nurse and get information about next steps.  We have 1 frozen blast, so I’m thinking that will be the next step, but I don’t think it’s a given.

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5 thoughts on “I am a Saint!

  1. You ARE a saint! Good gawd.

    I would say that wedding is the perfect analogy for people who have kids.. about 1 out of every 6 have any business having them.

    Perhaps we should all run out and get alcohol or anger problems? Maybe this will speed up the process?

  2. Ugh, I hate when I have to be around morons who’s only qualification for being a parent is that they have a pulse. Don’t know why people who are messed up bring kids into it.

    It’s good to get it out of your system after moments like that.

    Don’t give up on the FET. I really didn’t think it would work for us and it’s early days, yes, but it was successful and was so much less stressful than full on ivf:-)

  3. I feel just as you do, wholehartedly.

    Why do the one’s that clearly don’t have the mindset for children have them so easily?? Ugh, nauseating. I’m sorry you had to endure that evening, but for the sake of playing the devil’s advocate here…some of them could be experiencing the very same things we are going through…I tend to lean towards the negative side too….but then I remember that 1 in 3 couples face infertility……

    Sad, but true. It’s unfortunate that infertility has no discretion…..

    I admire the strength you possessed at that wedding….ESPECIALLY towards the “fake” couple. We know some like that and I don’t do “fake.” I’m too outspoken…co-workers or not. LOL

    Virtual hugs! ;)

    • Yes, I definitely agree not to judge woman b/c they might have actually suffered along the way to pregnancy as well, but with this crew I know for a fact that none of them were included in this statistic. Thanks for posting that reminder though…I definitely no longer look at other pregnant women from afar and judge (just those I know had no issues…ha!)

      • Yea, it does make it hard to NOT judge when you know their status per say. Struggling with infertility does open your eyes a bit to others’ situations. Every pregnant woman I see I wonder if they struggled like I do.

        Good luck on your journey and know you will be in my thoughts and prayers!

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