Mom issues

Friday night was a disaster.  I get a text message from my mom that says, “If C (my brother) called you, would you talk to him?”  So a little background…in January, my brother was extremely nasty to me for no reason and we got in a screaming fight (not like me at all…he brings out the worst in me) and he ended up cursing at me and walking out.  Mind you, my parents witnessed the entire thing and were speechless as that has never happened before.  About a week later, C texted me a lame apology.  I did not reply as I felt it was a half-assed apology and I deserved an actual phone call (we live about 3 hours apart, so face to face was not expected).  And I haven’t heard from him since.

So when I see this text message (my mom is famous for texting and FBing instead of actually talking on the phone or giving news face to face….Ex. She emailed me the morning her and my stepfather were getting married), I know it’s a loaded question.  I basically told her that I don’t want her getting in the middle and to just stay out.  She kept pushing and said how she talked to C and he said that he tried to apologize, but I wouldn’t accept it.  He made it seem like he’s been calling and calling, which it total b/s.  So when she said they were talking the other night, I just got this really weird feeling that if they’ve been talking about this situation, she may have told him everything we have been going through with infertility.  So I ask, “Did you tell him about our difficulty getting pregnant”.  Her response was, “He know’s your trying” (which is totally avoiding the actual question) and then changes the subject back to us talking again.  I keep pushing and finally she says, “Yes, I told him.  I thought he should know”.

WTF!!!!!!!  1) You do not have my permission to tell ANYONE about my and B’s personal business, especially something she knows we have been struggling with for 8 months and we are both a completely emotional wreck over; and 2) I haven’t spoken to C in pretty much the same amount of time, what universe do you live in that you think I would want him to know anything about me, forget my most personal business….not to mention how could she tell my husbands personal business!

And the worst part about this 3 1/2 hour texting conversation…she feels totally justified in what she did and thinks I’m overreacting.  Not only does she think I’m overreacting, but she also thinks something is wrong with me that I would be so upset about it.  She wrote some sort of apology email yesterday, but I can’t even bare to read her twisted justification.  She got really nasty and said I was full of hatred.  She also made a statement to the effect of…and I know you will hold this against me until I’m in the ground.  OH MY GOD!!!! And she things I’m being dramatic!  I was sitting there crying hysterically in my husbands arms while I thought about my brother knowing my personal business and my mother completely breaking my trust.  She said she didn’t tell anyone else, but obviously I have no way of knowing if she’s being honest.  I just feel so betrayed by her and yet again she demonstrates that she has no understanding of what we are going through.

And now I just can’t trust her with anymore information of what we are going through.  Our first beta is coming up on Friday and now I don’t want to tell her.  How can I be sure that she won’t decide “X person should know” and tells them against our wishes.  I can’t now and that sucks.  She’s really ruined part of this for us and I don’t know how to get past it.  There is no more talking through things as she could not get it through her head that it doesn’t matter who she things should know things about me, it’s not her right to tell anything to anyone without our permission.  We are now at a standstill :(

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2 thoughts on “Mom issues

  1. WOW! You have every right to be angry. I know if I had been in your shoes I would have been livid. Some people just don’t understand how truly heartbreaking infertility can be. I hope you are able to heal and that she apologizes to you in a more appropriate way. My sister is always trying to apologize via a text message and that is just rude.

    • Thanks for responding. It was even more upsetting that she didn’t see anything wrong with what she did and actually defended it. I feel very fortunate to have all the ladies in the blog community to turn to when everyone else just doesn’t seem to get it.

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