Yes, it is 10 after 11pm and I cannot sleep. I tried going to bed at 9:30pm, but got up around 10:30pm b/c I’m wide awake. I will need to be up at 5:30am to shower before getting to the hospital at 6:30am for the retrieval (which will be at 7:30am). I wish it was morning already and we could just get it started. My mind is racing with all sorts of thoughts…mostly surrounding the anesthesia. I have never been under before and am very anxious about what it will feel like. I am not someone who likes to relinquish control (I’m sure the feeling is similar for all of you) and I don’t like that I will be unaware of what is happening to my body. Not that I want to be awake for the procedure either, but the thought of something happening to me and not having any memory of it actually happening freaks me out. Another thing that is freaking me out is the thought of waking up in the middle of the procedure. I’m sure this will not happen, but the thought of it happening is still there regardless. And on a very random note, my eyes are SO itchy! I don’t know if I am having subtle allergy symptoms or what, but it’s driving me crazy!
What did you all do the night before your retrieval? How did you mentally prepare yourself? I’m guessing my anxiety is stemming mostly from the unknown. It’s hard to prepare for something that you have never experienced. While I was laying in bed, I was trying to picture how things would go, but I have very limited information to go on so I couldn’t really picture it. Then I tried thinking baby thoughts. I tried imagining finding out we were pregnant…where we would be, which nurse would give the news, how she would word the good news, etc. I also tried picturing myself pregnant (unsuccessfully I might add) and going for a walk with B, C, and new baby. I’m trying to focus my crazy on more positive thoughts, but it has just resulted in my mind spinning and spinning!
Wish me luck in getting to sleep tonight and making it through the procedure tomorrow without having to be strapped down in a straight jacket! :) I will post an update tomorrow afternoon barring my being placed in the psych ward!!!!