This is what one of my closest friends from childhood said to me on the phone earlier. This was right after she told me she was 17 weeks pregnant. I hate that she was obviously dreading telling me what should be wonderful news, but I also hate that somehow my knowing she is pregnant gave her some relief. I’m not sure how I feel about this. I did not feel relief from this. I felt a little funny that she waited so long to tell me. So my two BBF’s from childhood are now pregnant with their second children (all 4 of these pregnancies were conceived in month 1 of trying, so apparently it is easy for some people). These pregnancies were planned out exactly. They wanted to be pregnant with their first children at the same time (mission accomplished) and they wanted there to be 2 years between their 1st and 2nd child (mission 2 accomplished). I did much better receiving the news this time. I only cried a single tear and got choked up for a few seconds. When my other friend told me she was pregnant, I had a complete hysterical break down. I think it had a lot to do with the timing. I think I have also come to accept that everyone’s life does not stand still just because mine life has come to a stand still.
They are both good at listening and checking in to see how I’m doing and where we are in the process, but they obviously just don’t get it. Whenever I talk to my one friend (I have to admit I have been avoiding her since she told me she was pregnant, which was also 2 days before I found out our first IVF cycle was put off for another month) I don’t ask about how her pregnancy is going. I didn’t ask her due date. I know nothing other than she is pregnant. I feel like a bad friend in this respect, but I also have to be protective of myself. They can’t control that it’s easy for them to get pregnant, just like I can’t control it’s not easy for us. But B and I are about to go through the most stressful thing we’ve been through up to this point and we just need to focus on ourselves and not worry about what everyone else has going on. Do I sound like a complete B***ch???