Our recent 4 day, 3 night trip to Vegas was exactly what we wanted it to be. We spent time with friends, visited our favorite spots, caught a show, relaxed and had some new adventures. It was great to get away from the day to day and keep our minds off of IF. And we were actually able to do this for most of our time there. The thing about IF though is that you are never really away from it. It’s on the plane when the cutest 1 year old girl is waving to B (who is waving back and making silly faces at her) while standing on her mom’s lap, it’s the hundreds of pregnant belly’s around you, finding out a friend of a friend’s daughter is 6 months pregnant and just graduated HS, and surprisingly a friend revealed she and her husband are also experiencing IF issues. She is the kind of friend that we would hang out through other friends when I lived in Vegas and we are FB friends, but not super close. So it was kind of surprising that it came up between us. The conversation of course came up from another casual friend asking, “When are you two planing to have a baby?” I wanted to respond with something like…”well that is the million dollar question, but not everyone can just plan to have a baby and poof it’s there!” Instead, I said something vague like it will happen when it happens. Then this other friend who was sitting right next to me must have picked up on this and “came out” to me. We were in a big group of friends, but not big enough that we could break off and talk about it, so we left it that we would get in touch soon to talk.
The next day, I was walking with another friend and I was complaining that my boobs were really sore to which she responded, “maybe your pregnant”. I shook the comment off and then she said, “are you sure?” To which I told her we have tried all of our options and will be staring IVF in August. She was definitely very considerate of my feelings after that and I knew she would be. I had been wanting to tell her, but we don’t talk much other than through FB these days. I’m glad she knows now.
And finally, another friend who already knew about our IF struggles, gave us two presents to take back with us. One was a small fertility statue and the other was her son’s halloween costume. The costume may seem strange, but when we spent halloween with her and her sons a couple years ago, her youngest son wore the cutest dragon costume and B spent the entire time trick or treating chasing the little dragon down. We both felt very touched by these gifts and lucky to have such a wonderful friend.
So even though we didn’t have a complete break from thinking about IF issues, we were able to enjoy our vacation together. And it was just a reminder that IF isn’t something we will even get away from. It has become part of us and will continuously be intwined in our lives. I’m sure it will stay with us forever…