Waiting is the hardest part

Wednesday is the last day of work before my summer vacation begins.  I will be putting in several hours over the summer to prepare for next school year and will also have some part time work to do, but Thursday truly marks the first day of summer for me.  The last week of June was supposed to be the start of our first IVF cycle, which was “perfect timing”.  I quote perfect timing because this is what everyone I had told about our plan for IVF said to me.  I understand what they meant…since school would be over, I wouldn’t have to go to work every day uncomfortable from the meds and I wouldn’t have to take anymore days off from work for the retrieval or transfer.  But to me and B, perfect timing would have been over 1 1/2 years ago.  I know my friends and family mean well, but these little conveniences are not the big excitements for me that they are to themselves.

Now that the IVF Unit is closed when I would have been scheduled for transfer and retrieval, I will not begin meds until mid-August.  This means, that once summer vacation starts, I will have 46 days to wait until we “try” for a baby.  Anyone who works in a school looks forward to summer vacation all year…finally some time to relax and de-stress.  However, this year I am completely torn.  I don’t want summer to rush by because I deserve the break from working so hard all year long, but I also do want it to rush by because I want to hurry up and have our chance at having our baby.

It is certainly going to be a challenging summer with such a long wait ahead of us.  Since January, we have had doctor appointments, tests, waiting for test results, IUI’s with meds and ultrasounds.  Although we knew the IUI’s would not be effective for us, we had to do them in order for our insurance company to cover IVF.  So we have done plenty of waiting before, but the waiting also included many “activities” I guess you could say.  So even though we spent several months waiting to get to this point, I felt like we were going through the steps in our plan.  I think that made it somewhat easier to handle, but now we will just be waiting…there is nothing left to do except wait.

Any suggestions on how to make the waiting game more bearable?  I’m thinking that tackling a few of my 101 things to do in 1001 days will serve as a way to keep my mind busy, but I’m open to pretty much anything :)

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