I would like to officially welcome all of you to my first official blog post! Today is the day I’ve decided to become an active member of the infertility blogging community rather than continue on as a passive onlooker. Today was one of those days where I was in a complete state of panic and could not keep myself from thinking worst case scenario thoughts. My state of panic actually began last night when we attended the mandatory IVF overview course. The class was fine, although I didn’t learn anything new about IVF that I hadn’t already learned from my own research and the Dr. seemed as though she was rushing through everything. Also, I had several questions that I didn’t feel comfortable asking in front of 8 other couples, more specifically the immature male partners who were inappropriately laughing and asked, “where’s the bathroom” when the Dr. asked if there were any questions. (ps – I was MORTIFIED for these women and at the same time felt sad that this was the support system they were dealing with.) Anyway, at the end of the class, one woman asked the staff psychologist (who was the only staff member left in the room) what the dates that the IVF unit would be closed in July for cleaning/quality control. At this point, the panic alarm was raised. Another woman jumped in and said something about it being close for 3 weeks!!! My heart begins to race. B sees I’m about to lose it and tries to say soothing things like, “we’ll figure it out” and “it will happen next time”, which were NOT in the least bit helpful. Needless to say I didn’t sleep well last night.
This morning I call the RE’s office at 8:01am (reception opens at 8am). I ask the receptionist what dates the lab is going to be closed. She puts me on hold and says they will only be closed on July 4th. I know this isn’t right, so I explain I was told it would be closed for 3 weeks for cleaning. “Oh, you meant the IVF lab…please hold”….waiting, waiting….”So the lab doesn’t actually close during the cleaning”. Ummm…what??? I tell her thank you and hang up. Then I call the IVF Unit directly and ask the same question. “Hold on, I’ll transfer you directly to the lab” okay…great! Voicemail picks up and I leave my name, number and question. Twenty minutes later I get a call back, “Hi, I received your message, but you don’t have the right number, this is the library.” Ummm….what??? Starting to lose my patients!!! She give me another number to call. Finally, I get transferred to the right office and get the information I am looking for. The lab cleaning dates are July 13th to August 11th (3 1/2 weeks!!!) Then she informs me, but don’t worry we are still open during the cleaning. I said, “Really? I was under the impression that you do not do Egg Retrievals or Transfers during the cleaning” She says, “Oh, yeah we don’t do those procedures, but we are still open and we still do IUI’s.” Ummm….If you are not doing IVF procedures, you are not technically fully open! Grrrr Then I call the RE receptionist back and ask her to have a nurse call me to discuss my next procedure. I asked the nurse if I began CD1 on June 10th, is there any protocol in which I would still be able to do IVF this cycle. Definitely not :( Then she says, “You will just have to wait until your next period.” I asked her if my RE would refer me to another RE so that I could continue on this cycle as planned. She informed me that this is the time that all RE offices complete the cleaning/quality control….this I find hard to believe…are there really no women going through IVF procedures from July 13th-August 11th? This seems impossible to me! This is when I broke down and lost it…the nurse was very supportive and understanding and totally got how waiting ANOTHER month is not just waiting another month and how unfair this all is.
Intellectually I completely understand why a lab like this would have to close for cleaning/quality control. However, I cannot stand the fact that it has to happen when we are supposed to be doing our first IVF cycle, which we have been waiting to do for 5 months!!! It’s hard to be positive all the time when so many roadblocks keep popping up along our journey. I too have the infertility guilt where I know so many others have suffered longer, have been through numerous surgeries, have put thousands of dollars into this, and worst of all have suffered the loss of a pregnancy. I have so much to be grateful for, but at the same time I can’t help but be jealous of all the women out there that don’t have a Ph.D. level knowledge of the inner working of their uterus. And I can’t help but be jealous of my best friend who 2x now has “planned” to get pregnant successfully during a month that is convenient for her.
I never imagined having a baby would be so hard…